All things guitar, Les Pauls, Strats, Teles, Tokai, Ibanez etc. etc. etc.

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BY Some Bozo
B45-12 wrote:Flanger
Flanging was also called sky phasing yonks ago.

The reason a Jet plane passing overhead sounds like a flanger is the way the sound travelling directly from the plane to the listener combines with the sound reflected from the ground under the plane. At a distance, the reflected sound takes longer as it travels down to the ground and then sideways to the listener while the direct sound reaches the listener by a shorter diagonal path. The difference gradually reduces as the plane approaches until it is directly overhead and the "reflected" and "direct" sound are the same.
Envelope filter (cant resist Ashes challenge)

Envelope = the dynamics (think volume) of a note (or any other sound event)
Filter = a circuit that allows only some of the frequencies through (think tone control) In this instance the filter is usually more like a wah circuit.

So the loud part of a note (the pick attack) opens raises the "pass" frequency higher, which then lowers as the note dies away.
The result is like an automatic wah that pedals down every time you pick a note.

ON a synthisizer the Envelop filter may trigger from the ADSR (attach decay sustain release) envelope, or alternatively, may have its very own envelop controls.

On guitar, some people associate this sound with some of Steve Vai's stuff, but he often does it with a spring loaded wah pedal.....

About compressors:
in fact compressors only reduce volume based in the threshold setting. Notes below the threshold are untouched, notes over it are turned down. Because this lowers the average volume, all compressors have an amplifier attached that raises the whole output of the compressor.
Backing Vocals
Whereby a musician (one who actually plays an instrument) lends their voice (usually in vocal harmony) to the Lead Singers' so as to provide a fuller sound for the whole unit vocally. This allows praise to be heaped upon the Lead Singer whereby no gratitude will be given by them to the actual musicians.

Sometimes the musicians are actually too busy doing their own job (playing instruments) and specialist BV singers are employed, but a band needs to reach superband/stadium status (think Pink Floyd) before they can afford this.

Lead Singers Disease
Whereby the Lead Vocalist's head is swollen to the extent that nobody else in the band really wants to interact with them.
Pakehendrix wrote:Or my favourite, the guy who thinks your band setup is a small scale Rockshop. While the band takes a break, this fellow walks around the music gear, hands behind his back, examining instrument. He then chooses one he likes (almost always a guitar), puts it on, and begins a rendition of Sweet Child of Mine (lacking in lead parts, correct chords and tempo). He then realises the amplifier is clearly not on, so reaches for the switch and plays the same piece at full gigging volume. At the insistence of the band, he puts the guitar down, leaving it to feedback, then proceeds to ask "how much did you get that one for? I have a Stratocaster too, its a real old one, probably worth more than yours..."

Oh god yes! Hasn't happened for a while, mainly 'cause I don't play out very much anymore but I can remember having to give at least a couple of people a spanking for mucking about with the gear and not desisting when asked nicely in the first instance, and then told to eff off in the second!! Oddly enough I don't recommend the practice; malleting wankers, I mean - it's hell playing with bruised knuckles and hands and the trickles of blood from various cuts don't increase your chances of getting lucky!!

OK, my definition would be Banjo - fastest room clearing device known to man!
corsair wrote:OK, my definition would be Banjo - fastest room clearing device known to man!

unless its a family reunion :wink: :P
#197133 of those ones where everyone is your mother AND your sister AND your aunty...?? :? I reckon I've played one or two of those where the participants show off their surgical scars where they've had the extra fingers and toes removed... :mrgreen:
:lol: :lol:
bluesgeek wrote:The 'Play Some Pink Floyd' Woman (PFW)

You get one at every gig, it may not be Pink Floyd, or even a woman... for example - we did a rock 'n roll night as a soul band, and some bloke keeps pestering for a 'foxtrot'. Like I would have a clue what timing, or how a 'foxtrot' would go.... the more they drink, the more insistent they get.

PFW- billed as a soul band, playing soul covers all night - PFW hits her limit, "play some floyd". 2 drinks later she's onstage bellowing in my ear "play some floyd...." I appease her temporarily by playing the Money bass riff.

The easy accompaniament to PFW is GHM (Guitar Hero Man). He's either 'special' or very very drunk when you first start playing. Consequently, he's the only bloke on an empty dance floor and he's stood 12" away staring at your fingers playing and nodding in appreciation. No-one dances while he's there, they're scared of being diced and sliced by the nutter.

Such is life, and I need to moderate this thread, so post away - these will be gone tomorrow *sighs*

Well the foxtrot one is quite easy - anything 4/4 with a bit of swing will do (he's usually too pissed to know the difference) like 'Hot Nuts' or 'Naughty man' - the 'musical limerick' form I calls them - think C7,B7, A7 (all Ist position A7 slid down the neck from the 5th position) for the first line etc.

Thank God PF was not so popular in my day - althoug h I once got rid of a heckler at a folk club "Play Puff the magic dragon' etc 'certainly madam, Pouf the tragic drag queen, lived by sloane square and folicked in the thames at night in pink frilly underwear, little - etc etc - probably be had up for puiblic obscenity nowdays!

One of my favourites was the 'I'll sing if I want to' lady who, usually pissed out of her brain, gets up, takes over the mike and sings all sorts of disconnected notes to rousing cheers from the mostly male crowd - the good ending is when she pulls up/off her top, the male crowd goes bonkers then the bouncers step in to lead her off/cool things down, the bad ending is when she refuses to do so, someone tries to 'help' her, another tries to stop him and an all out fight breaks out, the bouncers step in lead everybody off etc etc.

Glory days eh??? :lol:
"play some Metallica" is THE most significant audience noise we hear (in the covers band). The more we hear it, the less likely we are to play it - to the point of pissing people off by saying over the mics..."and hear's some Metallica" (wild screaming ensues) and then start say a Killers song (the inverse of Metallicker)....I would rather eat used condoms than play Metallica.

The Gambler is a strong second. I have a loaded gun for that one.

I do enjoy the odd couple basically having sex on the dance floor...Rose & Thorn in the metropolis of Te Awamutu we used to see a fair bit of that. Packed out floor and these drunken two in the middle with hands down pants and in blouses (?)...funny. I saw a reasonable amount of flesh, often unsightly, at that bar.

A frequent occurence with GHM is when he wants to talk to you mid song or whatever, it's dark and your monitor is way out there in dance floor land - he wipes out on it as he walks forward head butting the mic stand and it takes out teeth and half the pedal board with his warm Lion Red. And then gets all angsty when you help him up by the throat.
*UNIQUE* wrote:.Rose & Thorn in the metropolis of Te Awamutu we used to see a fair bit of that.

got both flashed and bottle thrown between guitarist and myself in the same night there... didn't mind the gg, but they dropped their performance fee as they said to us (they can get bands in from hami for $550 :shock: wouldn't even cover gas for us, so we told them that we hoped they enjoyed their $550 bands.
Code: Select allSooty: verb
"To Sooty" or noun "I'm doing a Sooty": (1)To be over emotional when making desicions regarding guitar gear, allowing emotional attachments to take priority over practical requirements. (2) To list an item and subsequently withdraw listing due to previously mentioned emotional attachments. (3) To sell an item only to reminisce at nuseam about how great the item was and how you never should have sold it. (4) To seek advice from fellow GAS inflictees regarding gear sale desicions, only to ignore practical suggestions in favour of emotional attachments. NOTE: These conditions are widespread amongst guitarists, and certainly not isolated to the person whom this condition is named after.
How about the HTA (Hick Town Audience)?
Thats right. Theyre the ones you find in the car park at the end of the night with bottles and jugs who reckon youre bands a pack of wankers or, Dorklanders or worst, both, and need to be taught some kind of lesson.
Hey! Who hasnt had that happen a million times?
....Still its nice to get a reaction.

Now 947 days in traction.